The following 20 quotes caught my attention as I worked through Kyle McClellan’s Mea Culpa: Learning From Mistakes in the Ministry (Christian Focus, 2015).
“What they needed was a pastor. They needed a shepherd. They needed a guy whose walk with Jesus was the life-blood of his ministry. Sadly, that’s not what they got. They got a guy whose sermons sounded more like theological lectures than sermons. The basics of a confessional, Calvinistic, baptistic faith were hammered home to them. Three times a week, for forty-five minutes a pop, they were subjected to my cluelessness.” (28)
“More often than not, when normal people ask a question, it’s because they are genuinely struggling with whatever they asked. Now, there are always a few goofball outliers — but generally, questions are asked in good faith. So, when those questions presented an opportunity for me to love the people of God, I lectured them instead.” (28)
“The real reason for my argumentative responses was much more simple and painful. I responded this way because I am an arrogant sinner. I perceive questions as a challenge to my ‘pastoral authority’ because I am arrogant. I’ll try to bury you because I really am a sinner. Since I’m not secure in the gospel, I’m trying to validate my ministry by my own strength and intellect. It’s both a me project, and a me problem. It is an area for growth, and a sin issue that needs to be confessed.“ (29)
“What about you? Are you cultivating your ability to beat the foolishness out of any who dare defy your intellectual or theological prowess? Or, are you using these means of grace, not to show you’re the smartest kid in the class, but as a means to grow in your love for the Savior? For the sake of your soul, and the souls of those in your care, I pray it’s the latter.” (32)
I am a recovering gnostic. I don’t deny the humanity of Jesus, so I’m not a gnostic in a Christological sense. I have, however, denied the importance of the actual setting in which God does His redemptive work in each of our lives. We don’t live in ‘Anywhere’ or ‘Somewhere.’ We all live and work and love and sin and struggle in a particular place. For too long in ministry, I devalued place.” (34)
“The gospel is to be lived out in particular places. It is not an abstract philosophical concept. It calls us to love God and love neighbor. Not our neighbor in theory, but actual people. The gospel calls us into community, and not a community of our choosing.” (40)
“As a pastor, it’s easy to love the gospel. It’s harder to love the people you pastor, but it can be done.” (43)
“Responding to stupidity with stupidity is rarely the course of godly wisdom.” (46)
“I urge guys starting out in ministry to do the following: find out what you’re really good at. Find out what you love to do in ministry. God has wired and gifted you a particular way, and trying to minister outside of that gifting is foolishness. Once you’ve identified your gift and calling mix, do that.” (47)
“Once you know your gift set and strengths, you have to winsomely but firmly communicate them. Be up front. Don’t be timid or apologetic about it — let any prospective church know what you do well.” (48-49)
“Pastors are not omni-competent. The moment you truly realize this will be a blessed epiphany. The moment your church realizes this, you’ve got a puncher’s chance at having a long and fruitful ministry in one place.” (50)
“The generations that have seen their families fall apart and have been marketed to from the moment they were born are looking for authentic community. Anonymity and community make strange bedfellows.” (55)
“I was dumbstruck. The realization that I had been competing in ministry hit me immediately. If you don’t already know this, competing in ministry is one of the dumbest things you could ever do. It’s bad for your soul and for the souls of your folks. By trying to win, nobody wins.” (60)
“I’m not arguing that lifting is better than the others (it is for me). But I am arguing that you need to find your thing. Run, play golf, play tennis, lift, whatever. Raise your level of general physical preparedness. Plan, prioritize, and keep score. You’ll feel better physically, emotionally, and spiritually.” (66)
“Ministers must be intentional and almost obsessive about prioritizing their lives in order to be balanced. We must set our priorities and then set our schedules according to those priorities.” (67)
“The ministry tends to attract insecure narcissists.” (85)
“What about you? If I asked you about your devotional habits, could you give an honest answer that reflected what you habitually do, or would I hear pious nonsense? If I asked you about your habits on Sabbath and solitude, what would you say?” (89)
“Over time, I’ve come to realize that I’m not alone in this: pastors can often be crummy husbands and fathers.” (93)
“The boundaries are blurry. Ministers have to be intentional about bringing balance to their home and vocational lives. Most of us do it poorly.” (99)
“I must cultivate and guard my family: my wife first and foremost, and my children secondarily. The Bible reminds us that this is indeed the proper order. We are not free to reprioritize our lives as we see fit. We cannot put the work of ministry in the first slot, and then leave our families to fend for themselves with the scraps of our guarding and cultivating.” (100)
Michael Carlino serves on the administrative side of the Mathena Center as the Student Associate and Garrett Fellow. He is a Ph.D. student at SBTS and was a Mathena intern in 2018-2019. Michael aspires to be the lead pastor in a church revitalization effort.